We Are A Generation of Men Raised By Women

“We are a generation of men raised by women.” – Tyler Durden

  The duality of modern men.    How men today are forced to don one suit to mask our true identities so that we can fit into society's idealistic portayal of the civilized man, while underneath we yearn for the simpler life of our primal nature.

The duality of modern men.

How men today are forced to don one suit to mask our true identities so that we can fit into society's idealistic portayal of the civilized man, while underneath we yearn for the simpler life of our primal nature.

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Fight Club gets so much attention for its consumerism commentary, but what it really drives home beyond just that is the lack of male role models in modern men's lives. Many men today have a crisis of masculinity because of poor father figures or no father at all.

One man in the movie gets cucked by his wife after his fight with testicular cancer. He claims to be happy for her and her new man having a child together, but he is openly weeping to the crowd in the group therapy session. This is what society dictates men do though. It is expected for men to act civilized and hide their true emotions of pain, anger and sadness deep down inside. The harsh truth is that society is not mature enough to see grown men cry because they expect men to be the strong stoic figures while simultaneously bashing them for their, ahem, “toxic masculinity.” Men are lost in modern society and have no role models so they try to fit in by being consumers and corporate monkeys. Men are providers by nature, and modern society has robbed us of our purpose. Too many safety nets has undercut our ability to provide.

Without a father figure, children lose half of their positive influences. Men and women need to work together, and modern society is unbalance here. Fathers show boys hows to become men. They show them how to be resilient and to think rationally and logically. They teach boys to be tough. Mothers balance this out as they teach boys to be emotionally available and caring. They teach boys to respect and care for others. The two work well in harmony but the family court system is learning to far towards mothers at the moment and this produces a feminine society.

A generation of men raised by women is a disaster for modern men. And women too, the effects are not immediately seen so they don’t always notice, and seldom care. This does create the perfect army of consumers and corporations have a lot to gain from a feminized society.

Consumerism is merely a side effect of the absentee father motif portrayed in the movie, as men used to not care much for style, clothes or IKEA furniture until it became more common for boys to be raised by women. It is women who typically have been the consumer addicts, and this is why television and commercial cater to women at the expense of men. Why is the woman assertive and competent in every TV sitcom while men are portrayed as inept and lazy losers? Because women make the majority of consumer purchases and the advertisers know this. This isn’t an assault on masculinity but rather a pathetic attempt to appeal to women’s emotions for corporate profit.

This website is about defining manliness in today’s feminized society. There are men who don’t know who their father is. There are men who have been separated by their father. Then there are men who simply choose not to be involved in their child’s life and this has created a void that I seek to help fill. I had a great father growing up and he instilled more wisdom than I even realized as a kid. To this day I still don’t fully recognize everything because there is so much a man can do for his kids over the course of 18 years if he is allowed to have an influence.

Men have been emasculated chemically by poisons in our consumer products. Society has been castrated through the family court system. Our boys have been feminized by an unbalance social structure.

When I failed, my Mother was excellent at fixing my self esteem and getting me motivated to keep trying. Emotional support. My father would fix the problem or help me to do so. He would either tell me that I needed to work harder on the issue or try a different approach and offer helpful advice. Rational support. Together, the nuclear family provides balance.

Men today are not strong because they lack a strong father figure. The success of Fight Club, a movie nearly 20 years old, shows that this idea of rejecting consumerism and seeking brotherhood resonates with something deep inside of nearly all men.

Men don’t belong stuck in an office all day doing mundane tasks, deprived of sunlight and a sense of purpose. Men need brotherhood, physical activity, and the tactile ability to provide for themselves family and community.

Modern men have lost their identity and the movie could not have made this anymore obvious by creating a character with no name. His apartment does not define himself, so it is destroyed. His self help groups are merely a stopgap to his insanity and unfulfilling life, so he leaves those and creates his own tribe. Man needs purpose and the narrative stops consuming and creates something of his own. He is not the man capable of doing any of this so he creates Tyler, the ultra-masculine, good looking and confident alpha male he needs to destroy his old life. When he evolves beyond both the pathetic corporate lacky who was sleeping through life, and the fight club making, car stealing entrepreneurial soap maker/ terrorist, he destroys both and becomes a new man. Reborn with a sense of purpose and a new appreciation for his own life.

 

So, what is left at the end of Fight Club? No apartment, no IKEA furniture, no credit cards, and no Tyler Durden. All we are left with is a man, a woman he loves and… Fight Clubs. They survive because modern man does need a sense of brotherhood even if society thinks every male space should be invaded.

Men need their own space where they can be with other men, and society despises the notion as they are all attacked, including the Boy Scouts of America. If anyone has any suggestions for an all male space, I would be very interested to hear more. If not, we may have to make one ourselves. We could start our own Club. In the meantime, seek our brothers nearby to form your own tribe, join a martial arts dojo and get yourself in top physical shape. Reclaim your manhood!

Fight Club: A Novel
By Chuck Palahniuk