12 Ways To Gain Self Confidence
Your confidence is the first thing that people notice about you. They make judgments before you open your mouth. Everything about you is speaking for you.
The way you dress communicates your implied value. Your body language is telegraphing your worthiness. Your body shows your work ethic, discipline and consistency.
Confidence is everything.
Most men believe that some men are born with confidence and that most are not. This is a fallacy. Confidence is not given out at birth. It is achieved over time by accumulating wins. Each little accomplishment builds up your confidence. Every compliment you receive builds up your confidence. Choosing the right actions builds up your confidence.
The truth is, you are in control of your confidence.
This isn't something that is achieved easily or quickly. This is something that grows over time. It takes effort, dedication and consistency. But it's well worth it in the end.
Confidence is non-negotiable
You've been conditioned to not show your confidence. Men are constantly beaten down for being vocal under the made up word of "mansplaining."
Society hates men who act like men. They attack you for manspreading. Another made up word. They want you to sit like a woman. Even modern women don't sit like women anymore.
Do not tolerate these subtle jabs at your masculinity. You should be a proud man. A man who is not afraid to be heard, to be seen, to exist.
Be assertive! Stand up straight. Look people in the eye. Speak confidently and slowly. Make your words meaningful and people will pay attention to you.
How Can You Build Up Your Confidence?
Hit the gym! Remember the first chapter in Reclaim Your Manhood? What did I tell you to do? Hit the gym!
Now why did I do this? Because it works. It's the best way to gain confidence, get stronger and ultimately live a better life. Lift weights, not beer cans. Where there is a disgusting gut, there is insecurity. The greatest way to feel unstoppable is to move heavy objects and grow stronger.
Get yourself a gym routine that works for you. Show up to the gym with consistency. And in 6 months time, you'll be a man reborn. You'll feel better when you look at yourself in the mirror. People that you meet will recognize the changes you've made. You'll begin to get more compliments. All of these actions add up. This will build your confidence.
This creates a positive feedback loop. Once you get over the initial hurdle of working out consistently, you'll begin to see results. And as other people begin to notice the changes in you, they'll give you compliments. This then makes you feel better about your gym routine and thus more likely to keep showing up.
Start waking up earlier. The man who begins his day at 7 AM has a five hour head start on the man who wakes up at noon. It's a powerful feeling to know that you've finished the day's tasks before most get out of bed.
Push yourself past your self-imposed limits. When you train and get the urge to quit, push yourself beyond that pain threshold. You have no idea how much you have left in the tank. Every day is a battle between greatness and mediocrity.
Go one week without criticizing other people. The more time you spend focusing on other's negatives, the more your mind goes to the negative place. And people will associate you with the negativity you spread, even though you are talking about other people.
When you go out in public, make a habit of talking to strangers. Pop your social comfort bubble. Do this especially if you want to resist this idea. This allows you to practice being more social. And as you get more practice talking with new people, you're confidence will skyrocket as you have better and better interactions.
Learn how to write. A good writer is an excellent thinker. The more clearly you express yourself, the more confident you'll feel in a world full of ignorant people. The average person is merely reacting to the life around them. When you make a habit of writing, you begin to observe the world around you. And as you get better at making interesting observations, you become a more interesting person to talk to.
Cut sugar out of your life! Or at least marginally minimize it. This is making you fat and unhealthy. It makes you feel bad and look bad. Fixing your diet will help your mind, body and spirit. And as you look and feel better, you'll see your confidence boom!
Stand up to stupid ideas. If you hear somebody mention something dumb, raise your voice. Be confident enough to draw a line in the sand. A man understands the value of truth. If you let this go, the little voice in the back of your head will be nagging at you for remaining silent.
Take more brisk walks. Not only does this improve your health and creativity, but it also reveals how lazy most people are. Including yourself. Henry David Thoreau was famous for walking. This is a powerful habit that allows the subconscious to think and process the thoughts cluttering up your head.
"Walking is the natural recreation for a man who desires not absolutely to suppress his intellect but to turn it out to play for a season."
-Leslie Stephen
Schedule your day ahead of time. Confident people value structure because it keeps them in check. The average person is merely reacting to life. Their life is pure chaos. Confidence is born out of an orderly life, not a chaotic one.
Don't be afraid to make yourself unavailable. Life is governed by economics. Make yourself scarce to others. People want to be around others who are busy building something meaningful. If you let anyone and everyone steal your valuable time, they'll poison your mind and steal your serenity.
Do what you want, without permission. You are in control of your life. Nobody should order you around like a little puppy. Ultimately we do all answer to someone. But if you want peace and happiness in your life, you need to start taking control of the direction of your life.
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