If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
In Fight Club, Jack (the Narrator) is mindlessly drifting from place to place via airports.
As he’s wondering through wherever, he ponders this question, “If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?” There will be Fight Club spoilers in this post btw. Aside from having a complete mental breakdown and starting a cult of space monkeys, could you have a fresh new start by moving to a different place?
It is here that we first catch a good look at… Tyler Durden. Yes, I realize he “flashes” on the screen in the office while Jack is again, mindlessly making copies at work, but let’s not count that as our introduction to this memorable character. When people decide they want to “wake up as a different person,” they usually mean as the same person but with a new outlook on life and maybe a fancy new wardrobe.
Fight Club takes this notion to a more radical result. Jack creates an entirely new alter ego that he believes to be a different person whom he met on the plane. Or was that on a beach?
Could you really have a fresh start if you simply moved to a different city? People who feel disappointed with their lives want a fresh start. And at some point in your life, nearly everyone feels disappointed with the direction they’re heading.
This is the problem of staying in your hometown too long. Even if you work hard on yourself and demonstrate real, meaningful growth, your high school friends won’t let you forget where you came from. “A prophet is never a prophet in his hometown.”
This is also the problem with social media. It has become too easy for your past to catch up with you, even if you try and outrun it by moving to a different place. Your old friends can catch up with you online and bring up an embarrassing past.
Every little setback, every failure, each social faux pas, these nagging moments where you wish life had a reset button. To be able to replay the day knowing not to say that one awkward line that made people question why they spend time with you.
“If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person?”
You Need to Own Your Actions
The real problem is most of these people refuse to accept responsibility for their own actions. By moving to a new place, they can blame the old city or old friends and ignore the fact that it is their own actions that are responsible for their dissatisfaction. If you are going to move to a new place but simply act like your old self, you’re in for frustration when you find the same old results.
If you take the new place as an opportunity to reinvent yourself by changing your actions, your daily habits and how you present yourself, well then you truly can become a different person. This is harder than simply changing your mailing address though as it requires change from within. But the long-term results are well worth it.
This can be your opportunity to reframe your personality. You can select a better set of friends and coworkers. Change your wardrobe to a more professional appearance. You only get so many chances to reinvent yourself and it’s easiest to do when you wake up in a different place.
Moving to a different place is also one of the best opportunities to kick some old habits. If you’re trying to quit smoking or vaping for example, a change of scenery can be the nudge you need. Many of your old triggers are gone now and you’ll find yourself slightly less tempted to indulge in these bad habits.
How Can You Become a Different Person?
Most importantly you need to change your own daily habits. If not, you’ll likely end up with similar friends, similar frustrations and a similar life. You have the opportunity to reinvent yourself. You simply need to believe in yourself and to consistently implement these new daily habits.
First off you need to forgive yourself for any of your past failures or disappointments. Everyone has history but carrying that baggage around will only drag you back to where you came from. You need to move forward, and that starts with letting go. If you’re really struggling with regrets of your past, consider writing them down in a journal. And when you’re finished and the words have allowed the weight to come off your shoulder, burn the journal. This can be remarkably cathartic.
You’ll find some drawbacks to moving to a new place though. A new city can be a bit daunting at first as you likely won’t have any friends there yet. You can slowly begin to meet people by turning off your PlayStation and getting out of your apartment. Most guys think they can only meet people at the bars, and then they’re shocked when all their friends want to do is go out and drink. You can find a better class of friends if you look in different places.
The first thing you should do is find yourself a gym. Now this likely won’t be the best method for meeting people but it’s a start, and you should be working on your fitness regardless. Keeping yourself in shape is one of the ultimate lifehacks and this will draw people into your life. Look in your gym for classes that you can take or rec leagues you can join. The best way to make friends is to share a common struggle and sports or gym classes are great for building this camaraderie.
Two years ago, I moved to a city knowing no one here. Now I run into people I know all the time and have meaningful relationships. Two of my stronger relationships I formed when we trained and ran in multiple Spartan Races together. The sharing of a common goal and a common struggle built a shared bond. This is much more interesting and meaningful than share a couple of pints together every weekend. There’s so much more to life if you tire of binge drinking every weekend.
One of the most common struggles for men today is the lack of meaningful connections. Most of your old friends are off living their own lives in different cities. Your work friends are only talking about politically correct topics: the weather, sports and shows. This struggle is only exacerbated by moving to a new city.
If you’re looking for a more meaningful connection with men who are doing something meaningful with their lives, then you should check out Spartan Tribe. It’s an online tribe that I’ve built to help men forge more meaningful connections. On the private Telegram Channel we share tips on staying fit, building revenue streams and the general struggles that men face. Men need a tribe of warriors. Having a band of brothers is a massive unfair advantage as it provides you a network that you can depend on.
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When I think of the most interesting people I know, it’s not the hyper-specialized experts in one field. It’s the people who find a unique juxtaposition of different walks of life. I’m drawn to those who can be both physically fit and intelligent enough to write. Two skills that are not that common alone but uniquely rare when found in the same person.