How to Go From Doomer to Bloomer
You are anxious and depressed because you obsess over the dark side of life. This is evident in your love for conspiracy theories, internet forums, porn and other negative hobbies. Your dependence on nicotine and alcohol exacerbates your issues. This, along with your imagination and sensitivity, furthers your immersion into the dark side of the world. It doesn’t have to be this way.
You’ve created a lifestyle of overindulgence in pleasures, many of them hedonistic in nature. You game all night. You surf conspiracy forums at your day job. You go on smoke breaks. And you binge drink all weekend. This is not the path to a happy or fulfilling life.
I’m not blaming you for living this way. Most guys in their 20’s are jaded and cynical, especially if they don’t have kids yet. Life can be hard on the best of us, and it’s easy to ignore the beauty of life when you are immersed in the darkness. Maybe you’re stuck in a dead-end job with a dead-end girlfriend. Maybe you don’t even have a girlfriend and escaping into porn and the video game world feel like your only reprieve from a harsh life.
I was once sure the world was ending and that future life would be an apocalyptic wasteland due to an economic collapse, resource depletion or Terminators. The details of how it might happen weren’t that important, but at the time, some form of social breakdown seemed inevitable. While this may happen one day, it has been many years and the older I get, the less likely this outcome seems. I find this an acceptable prediction to be wrong about.
I was a doomer for a while. Not to the extent that I built an underground bunker, but I did read a few “prepper books” like One Second After. Which is excellent by the way! But this mindset and all the doom and gloom media I was consuming was weighing me down. It was making me depressed. And it wasn’t making me any money, happiness or bettering my relationships.
What’s a doomer? Its internet speak for a person, usually in their 20s, who struggles to live a normal life. They usually are unemployed and incapable of finding a girlfriend. They have given in to nihilism and despair over the future of humanity. They spend their time obsessing over the darkness of life.
So, I slowly began to abandon the doomer mindset and have become a bit of a bloomer. I started to look at my life optimistically and to focus on improving my life. Then a funny thing began to happen. The world suddenly went from feeling dark, bleak and depressing to beautiful, exciting and hopeful. You see, by changing my own life, I’ve been able to change my own world. So how do you do this?
What’s a bloomer? Someone who takes an optimistic outlook on life and sees hope in the future and in life. They seek happiness and are the opposite of a doomer.
Cut out the negative influences in your life
You underestimate the effects of your consumption. If you are constantly being bombarded by negative images, thoughts and ideas, why are you so surprised to see your own thoughts reflect this. It’s as if you’re brainwashing yourself into depression or nihilism.
Do you obsess over conspiracy theories or doomsday talk? This constant barrage of negative imagery is making you anxious and depressed. You are buying into the pessimistic outlook and channeling that bad energy into your life. Is there a secret cabal ruling the world? Perhaps, but you have little to no say over what will happen on such a grand scale. You have significant say over where your life is heading, yet you neglect this truth.
Quit following the stories that are selling doomsday scenarios to profit off your outrage. It’s making you miserable. Remove these websites from your favorites folder. Find more positive sites to check that have a more immediate effect on bettering your life. Focus on more positive areas of life and watch your mood begin to improve. You truly can change your outlook.
If your diet is garbage, you’ll feel like garbage. This should be second nature, but most young guys don’t consider what they put into their body. If you’re typical consumption is alcohol and processed food, your body will struggle to perform. You’ll wake up late, feel lethargic and struggle to focus on deep work.
Replace them with constructive influences
Jordan Peterson tells you to clean your room. Do not dismiss this as a trivial piece of advice. It is life-changing. By cultivating a clean living space, you clear mental clutter in your life.
“What bit of chaos can I eradicate from my life.”
Instead of listening to doom and gloom, what might happen if you were to listen to positive and constructive media? Might the infectious positivity begin to influence your mood? You will find yourself often repeating ideas and themes that you hear. Subconsciously, you absorb what you see and hear. Focusing on self-improvement podcasts or blogs could incentivize you to better yourself. They may even convince yourself that you are worthy of caring about.
And once you start caring about yourself, you begin to take care of yourself. You begin stacking little wins. Something as simple as cleaning your room or making your bed can be the nudge you need to get started. Next you might start spending less time online and more time at the gym or going for runs. This all creates a positive feedback loop. You work out. You get endorphins. You feel better about yourself. You decide to get up early. You clean up more of your living space. You keep working out and get back in shape. Then you buy nicer clothes because you’re proud.
Before you know it, the optimism is getting to you and you’re feeling more like a bloomer. You vaguely recognize that old doomer who would sulk and feel sorry for himself. In time, people begin noticing these changes in you. They’ll compliment you and encourage you, which adds to your positive feedback loop.
You may need to replace toxic friends with more encouraging ones. We tend to become like the 5 people we spend the most time with. And sadly, our friends don’t always grow at the same pace as us. It is healthy to let go of people who drag you down. Most old friends are merely a factor of geographical convenience. You don’t owe them your time.
Stop getting so upset about news and politics
I saw a tweet that said “America is a corpse being consumed by maggots. Liberals are rooting for the maggots. Conservatives are rooting for the corpse.” Depressingly accurate. But a welcome reminder to stop wasting your time getting upset over these bread and circus shows.
Politics is full of corruption, pay to play and all sorts of underhanded tactics. And ultimately, you can make a bigger impact on your life than any of these politicians. You hear people say to spend your time more efficiently right? Well here is a big one. Stop battling trolls online in political arguments and find a hobby that will make you healthier, wealthier or at least happier. If you spend your time in political arguments, you’re addicted to the outrage.
Rather than obsess over elements outside of your control, focus on what you can control. This will have profound effects on your life and lesson your frustration at the world. When you change your life, you change your world.
Social media is another big area to focus on. As you age, you’ll find your tastes and interests will change. This is called growth. It is healthy. Curate your social media following to show what is making your life better. I highly encourage you to unfollow political accounts. They will post inflammatory articles in hopes of making you angry. Why would you do this to yourself?
Find people that offer insightful bits of advice. Follow people who motivate you to work out or become a better man. Replace negativity with beauty. Life is beautiful and the occasional piece of artwork is a staunch reminder of the positive side of life.
And finally, as you begin to feel better about yourself, look towards creation. This is the ultimate positive feedback. Find a hobby that interests you and devote your time towards building something. Maybe its painting. Maybe its writing. Whatever it is, pour your heart and soul into it and you’ll be proud of yourself for sharing something beautiful with the world.
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Change your mindset. Change your life.
When I think of the most interesting people I know, it’s not the hyper-specialized experts in one field. It’s the people who find a unique juxtaposition of different walks of life. I’m drawn to those who can be both physically fit and intelligent enough to write. Two skills that are not that common alone but uniquely rare when found in the same person.